Head vs Heart

I'm at odds over reconciling a couple of things.

I'm a relationship person. For me, getting to know someone doesn't necessarily mean being able to list off a bunch of things about that person. While knowing things about a person is usually the first step in a relationship, actually knowing a person is key.

Does that make sense? I'll try to explain.

Let's use my husband, Randy, as an example. Randy is a business owner. He is a church member, high school Sunday School teacher and special needs tutor. He is a "says it like it is" father. He smokes cigars, wears a baseball hat 24/7 and wears jeans to church.

"Hmm, interesting character," you might say.

Yep, those are things about my hubby. But now, let me try to help you get to know Randy.

Randy's customers are loyal. They've found him to be a fair, diligent and painstakingly neat perfectionist who gets to know them and their families personally. Our Sunday School highschoolers love him because he is genuine, goofy and cares deeply about each and every one of them. He wears a gruff exterior like armor, but inside has a teddy bear heart that is fiercely protective of his kids, the elderly, and of me.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, but I hope it helps you see the difference between knowing about a person and getting to know a person.

Hence, my struggle with those Christians who know about Jesus and preach this above knowing Jesus. To be fair, I truly believe Jesus wants us to know about him. I also believe that Jesus wants us to continue learning more about him. But ultimately, Jesus wants us to have an intimate relationship with him, which involves really knowing him, and not just knowing about him.

I call this the Religion vs Relationship teeter totter. Religious folks can get hung up on knowing about, but not really knowing. You see, Biblical head knowledge and heart relationship should go hand in hand. More and more, I've noticed that when the teeter totter is heavy with head knowledge, it's very judgmental. So whether you agree with me or not, here's my take on it:

Religion wants to be in control.
Relationship trusts God’s control.

Religion worries about what others think.
Relationship only cares what God thinks.

Religion shackles us with a list of rules and regulations.
Relationship sets us free.

Religion condemns.
Relationship forgives.

Religion carries the arrogance of knowledge.
Relationship carries the humility of service.

Religion continually strives for more knowledge, leaving us unfulfilled.
Relationship fills our hearts with acceptance and overflowing joy.

Religion guilts us into works.
Relationship serves with joy.

Jesus had harsh words about those who spouted their Biblical head knowledge and taught it, but didn't live it out in their relationships. He has lots to say to them in Matthew 23. But before he chastises them, he tells us how to live our lives in verses 9-12, here from The Message:

 “You all have a single Teacher, and you are all classmates. Don’t set people up as experts over your life, letting them tell you what to do. Save that authority for God; let him tell you what to do. No one else should carry the title of ‘Father’; you have only one Father, and he’s in heaven. And don’t let people maneuver you into taking charge of them. There is only one Life-Leader for you and them—Christ.

11-12 “Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty."