Deflated

This week was rough. Not only was work crazy, I had an amazing number of commitments booked during my off hours. I had an annual assignment due by Friday. I was covering for a coworker who was on vacation. And in case you hadn't noticed, it was the end of the month. That's a big deal when you work in accounting. I went into work at 7:00 each morning and stayed later than normal every day. By Friday, I felt completely frazzled. Drained. Near tears.

Normally, I am a happy person, filled with the joy of life. I am convinced that Jesus fills me with that joy and I try my best to talk to him throughout my day. Normally, I feel kinda like this balloon:

photo waniardy.com

Not so this week. This week, my balloon was pricked and the air was literally sucked out of me. I felt as though Jesus was no where to be found. I believed Jesus had actually turned his back on me. I asked for his guidance and found silence. I felt abandoned. Alone. Crabby and downright mean. And the worse part was that I was unable to get out of the funk; unable to change my poor attitude. I felt completely deflated. I felt like this balloon:

After a restless, prayer-filled night, I woke up feeling refreshed. My week of grumpy nastiness had been replaced with happiness and joy. I realized this morning that Jesus had been there all along. He knew my heart. He knew my thoughts. He had not turned his back on me. On the contrary, I had turned away from him. And in his infinite patience, He was waiting for me. Waiting for me to adjust my focus. Waiting for me to get over my self preoccupation. 

Thank you, Jesus, for filling me with the fresh air of truth, life and love. I'm back to walking on air with the joy of knowing and trusting you.

Psalm 89:17-18 from The Message:
"Your vibrant beauty has gotten inside us- you've been so good to us! We're walking on air! All we are and have we owe to GOD, Holy God of Israel, our King!"